I Shall Find You Again My Friend
by weeping-angel-2spooky
Summary: Dean is back from Hell and is soon reunited with someone if thought he lost in the pit. Everything seems to be fine for the Winchester, but what is up with these mysterious demons and why are their markings so familiar to Dean?
1. Chapter 1

**I Shall Find You Again My Friend**

**All recognisable characters belong to Kripke. Would love to say I owned supernatural but alas no…**

**Anyway onwards…**

Chapter One

Hell was… well Hell was Hell. There were no words to describe it. It simply was. Hell was an endless cycle of mundane daily torture. But when Hell's most wanted was finally brought to the pit, Hell changed. Dean Winchester spent forty long dark years in Hell. The first thirty were spent in total agony, but his stubborn, self-loathing attitude enabled him to simply refuse to break. But alas, he did break. It was Hell. Everyone breaks.

The last ten years. We don't talk about them. Let's just say the older of the Winchester brothers became the most feared being in Hell. Well second, but second only to his master; Alastair. He carved and sliced his way through countless souls. A burning Sigel branded each soul that fell before his blade forever, on the inside of their right wrist. Even when these souls came to the surface as demons, the Sigel would remain, branded on each and every host vessel they took.

Every torturer assistant operated under their master's brand until they were deemed worthy to have their own. It took thousands of years for someone to be granted this right, and even then it was few and far between. But this was not the case for the infamous Dean Winchester. No, on the fourth year of his apprenticeship Dean Winchester dropped Alastair's Sigel and took up his own. It was safe to say that every demon, those here in Hell and even those topside feared him.

This remarkable transition happened after his second victim. After her.

He remembered finding her on his sixth month. After that they were inseparable. For thirty long years they fed off of each other's strength. After each bout of torture they would crawl to each other and find solace in each other's arms. They would let the waterworks flow and cling together in the cold dark corner of Hell. They kept each other sane; they kept each other human.

Dean Winchester had never believed in angels, that was always Sammy's area. But she made him believe and he slowly began to trust this strange girl. He would never know why but when she revealed what she truly was to him, he simply nodded, it made no difference, and he still trusted her. He trusted his Nephilium.

It was this trust that caused no stir when Castiel came for the Righteous Man. He had no fear; he had nothing but faith in this angel. He stared right into her eyes; a mix of hope, guilt, love, pain, hope and loyalty clouded his gaze. This was the girl who stood by him throughout everything. It didn't matter what he did to her or the fact that his mark would forever adorn her right wrist. Nothing mattered, at the end of those disastrous ten years she found him again. She found him and promised salvation promised she would save him.

"Esmerale," he spoke,

"Dean Winchester go now, be strong. Do not let what happened here haunt you. I forgive you for everything it is time you were reborn. You must learn to forgive yourself. Go now take my gift and we will be together again. I promise I will find you again my friend. I promise,"

She cupped his face and placed her lips upon his in a searing kiss. Light filled the small chamber; it seemed to flow through Esmerale and into Dean. He felt warmth, light fill him and for the first time in forty years, Dean Winchester smiled.

Castiel walked forward placing his hand on the broken mans shoulder, nodding toward the girl.

"Take him Uncle."

In a flash of light they were gone.

Esmerale was left alone in the small dark chamber, secluded in the deepest parts of Hell. She felt empty, a gapping hole where her grace once resided. But she cared not, for a moment later she felt her heart flutter. Dean was free; he was on Earth once more. She felt this pull of her grace that she had given him, pulling her upwards but she resisted. "All in good time," she whispered….

**TBC**

**A/N**

**I would love to be telepathic and no what you are all thinking, but sadly I am not. Reviews please **


	2. Chapter 2

**I Shall Find You Again My Friend**

**A/N**

**Yeah so I'm ignoring the whole demon blood/Ruby thing because it doesn't fit into the story**

Chapter Two

Two Months Later

By this time Dean had been topside for two whole months. Two long months. It had taken a lot of convincing at first to convince Bobby and then Sam that he was indeed still him; Dean Winchester, but eventually live went back to normal. Well as normal as possible for the Winchesters. Throughout the long waking hours of the day a mask was forever residing upon the eldest Winchesters features. It had taken literally all of the famous Winchester charm to convince the every growing hoard of hunters that he was not some black-eyed bitch sent to screw with them. He really didn't need to everyone to know what haunted his dreams, the nightmares that resided behind closed lids.

Dean hadn't seen much of Castiel lately. After springing him from the hellhole (and I literally mean _hell _hole) he pretty much avoided any interaction with the human in his charge. Dean had confronted him about Esmerale; the angel had left quickly after that. Seemed the angel in a trench coat really was a heartless sonovabitch of didn't mind leaving his niece to rot for all eternity. This all happened one-month ago, and Dean hadn't heard from him since.

_The knife came down in a deadly arc, crimson blood cascading endlessly from shining blade. This motion was repeated endless times; carving, cutting, slicing into parts of him he didn't even know could feel pain. When the pain became too much he blanked it all out, he became numb, slowly sinking into the endless oblivion of limbo. _

"_Now, now, kido," Alistair's sneering voice brought him hurling back to reality, "can't have you checking out too soon."_

"_No… no… no…no, leave me alone,"_

"_Dean…Dean…dean…"_

Dean bolted up in his bed knocking Sam of the edge causing him to land flat on his ass.

"Dean are you alright?' Sam asked his brother tentatively reaching out a hand,

"Just peachy Sam," seeing the beginnings of his brother's world-renowned puppy-dog eyes Dean continued, "honest Sammy I'm fine."

Sam looked at his older brother not believing the lie one bit. Dean had been in Hell he had the right to not be completely fine. From what little Sam knew about Dean's time downstairs he did know that in was forty long, hard years. Forty years in demon headquarters. He tried so hard to get his brother to open up but Dean was as stubborn as ever and would plain out refuse. _"I remember alright Sam, I remember everything. Everything that happened to me and everything I did. I will never ever let you go through that, so please Sammy just quit asking." _Those words they had shared on the side of the road still haunted Sam.

He opened his mouth to try to form some coherent sentences but before any sound could escape Dean brushed past him and headed for the bathroom.

That was one of the few times that Sam Winchester was not afraid to admit that he cried.

"Remind me again what we're doing here?" Dean asked his kid brother,

They were sitting in the parked Impala staring out at an old building seemingly straight out of an old western movie; The Roadhouse.

"Ellen said she wanted to see us," Sam replied with a shrug,

"You mean she wants to check up on me?"

"Dean…"

Dean held up a hand silencing Sam, "save it."

In unison the brothers exited the cars and headed towards the bar. Ever since Dean got out Ellen and Jo had found countless excuses to get the boys to drop by, all of them a god-awful cover to conceal their true intentions, babying Dean.

"Boys you're here!" Ellen practically shouted launching herself (in a very non-Ellen way) at first Sam and then Dean.

"Yeah well you asked for us and voila; we came," Dean said with a flourish.

Although his reply was directed at Ellen his eyes scanned the dim-lit interior of the Roadhouse. He noted several hunters that he recognised and several more that he did not. These days it was always a test to see which hunter believed his tale and which ones wanted to gut him on sight.

His gaze continued to wander, only barely registering the conversation occurring between Sam and Ellen. He knew that they both new he wasn't paying attention but he also knew that they wouldn't ask him to join in, not just yet. Scanning a room was a new quirk of Dean's and they new he had every reason to do it.

His wandering eyes came to rest in the far corner of the bar. Seated, cloaked almost entirely in shadows was a face he would know anywhere, a face that had seen everything with him and gotten him through everything, a face he never thought he would see again.

His green eyes met her blue and it was as if a dam had been opened. Long forgotten emotions threatened to overcome him. She stood up and slowly walked towards him, a small smile playing on her lips.

Ellen and Sam had long since ceased their conversation and were looking strangely at the pair. But Dean didn't notice.

"Esme," his voice sounded small and broken to his ears, "Essie is that really you?"

She came to a halt in front of him, "it's me Dean. I promised I would find you and I don't break my promises."

Dean nodded dumbly before enveloping the girl in his arms, resting his head in the crook of her shoulders. She hugged him back, sinking into his embrace. She nestled her head onto his shoulder and whispered only to him, "it's me Deano, it's going to be alright. We're together again. Nothing bad will happen. It's me Deano."

She repeated this mantra time and time again, whether she was reassuring herself or Dean; I don't even think she knows. But one thing we do know, life never gets easy for a Winchester.

**A/N**

**Oooooohhhh evil me leaving you on a cliff-hanger**

**Well you know the drill… Review time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I Shall Find You Again My Friend**

Chapter Three

XxX

"So um… who are you?"

It was late in the evening and Ellen had closed the Roadhouse early, almost immediately after Bobby came through the doors. In the few hours until now Ellen and Sam had simply watched the strange pair a question on their lips, "She's an old friend." That was the only response that they got from Dean. They had watched the two, the easiness and familiarity between the two; there was defiantly a story there.

Now the Roadhouse saw Dean and Esme settled comfortable against each other on the battered old couch. Opposite them Ash, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, and Sam sat eyes trained on the couple.

"I thought Dean told you we're old friends," Esme replied settling more securely into Dean,

"Balls," Bobby cut in, "how come I've never heard of ya then. I know everyone these idjits meet."

"Ahh Bobby you getting jealous," Dean smirked, "when I say old friend I don't mean someone I met back in easy hunting days, we've just known each other awhile, gone through a lot together,"

"Went through Hell together, literally," Esme murmured,

"What?" Sam said almost falling off his chair,

"You okay there Sammy," Dean snorted,

"Shut up. You… you met in Hell."

Esme opened her mouth to answer but obviously thought better of it. She looked up at Dean. Dean gave a stiff nod.

"They'll find out eventually, might as well tell 'em now. Just um keep it simple. You gonna tell them about you?"

"Might as well," Esme, mumbled before turning back to the small-assembled crowd, "yeah, we met in Hell."

The reaction to that statement was not exactly what she expected; it was quiet acceptance.

Esme raised an eyebrow at that but otherwise made no remark.

"So um, it's a long story. I don't tell many people this but I suppose, Dean trusts you so that's good enough for me," She broke of and looked at them, meeting each of their gazes.

They each gave nods of understanding and she sighed. Dean placed a chaste kiss to her forehead and a small smile ghosted across her lips before she told her tale;

"I guess to understand how we met, you need to know how I got to Hell. Well you need to know what I am. Well you'll find out eventually. Umm, oh god, I haven't really told anyone the whole story not in a while. Anyway cliff notes: So you've met Castiel right?"

She looked up and was greeted by nods from Bobby, Ellen and Sam, and simple confusion from Jo and Ash.

"Well Castiel is my Uncle Cas. I'm what you call a Nephilium, half human half angel. My dad was a hunter and my mum was an Angel; Lailah, angel of the night. I'm not really in Heaven's good books, defiantly when it comes to Uncle Michael. When a Nephilium is born, they are born like a human, angels are created but Nephilium are born. The strain of giving birth to a child fussed with Grace is so immense that it kills the mother. Nephilium are rare but most are born to a mortal mother. A Nephilium that is born to an angel mother, they are both rare and powerful. My mother was the equivalent of a captain up in Heaven. So when she refused to sacrifice her child, when I was born and she died, I was put on Heaven's hit list. Before I was born my mother had went to those angels she trusted the most; Castiel, Gabriel, Balthazar, and others. She expressed her wish for them to keep me save and that's what they did. After I was born Castiel took me from Heaven and attempted to return me to my father. My father was a right rotten bastard; he wanted no part to do with a daughter involved with the supernatural even if it was for the good guys. He tried to kill me. Balthazar rescued me and took me away. He had already left Heaven; it was around the same time that God went MIA. So the angels raised me. Balthazar and Gabriel were already starting to turn there back on Heaven and soon Castiel joined them they became my family, it was like having three dads, it was great. Uncle Cas was… interesting to say the least, Uncle Balthy; well he was just addicted to booze and sex, and Gabriel, I don't even know how to begin to explain Uncle Gabe. Eventually I left there care and started hunting on my own, I still kept in touch, but after they were recalled to Heaven by Michael I started seeing less and less of them. I became a Heaven and Hell priority. Both sides wanted me, one side wanted information the other side wanted silence. A Nephilium is powerful, very powerful, nowhere near the amount of power as an angel where demon smiting is concerned, but powerful in other ways. You see we are mortal, we die like humans we boast no immortality. It just takes more to kill us, we can still exorcise demons, fly and do all that fancy stuff but we also have our humanity and that makes us easier to break. If you want to be poetic you could say that it is both our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. Several months ago I was hunting down a nest of demons, they had taken a mother and her young daughter hostage. When I got rid of the demons I found them dying in the corner. I remember the mother looking me in the eye and pleading with me, begging me to save her daughter. How could I refuse her dying wish? So I healed the child. She was injured badly and the effort completely drained me. That's when the demons caught up. I was too weak to fight and only just managed to send the girl away before the dragged me down to Hell. Couple months in I met Dean, forty years later Uncle Cas springs him, later I follow…"

"Forty years," Sam asked in a small timid voice,

"Oh I'm sorry Dean I thought,"

"It's okay Es. Time's different down there Sammy four months up here, forty years down there," Dean smiled sadly before learning down and gently wiping away the tears that traced down Esme's face, "you look tired, go to bed we can talk more in the morning."

Esme nodded tiredly making to get up.

"Upstairs, second door on the left," He said giving her directions to his room, "I'll be up soon."

She leaned down and kissed him gently before leaving without another word.

Dean looked up at the small crowd, his family, "can we… can we talk in the morning,"

He didn't wait to see there timid nods just stood up and followed Esmerale up the stairs.

When he got in their room I found her already curled up in bed. He quickly shed his clothes and clad in only his boxers he climbed in besides her. He wrapped he strong arms around her and smiled when he felt her relax into his hold. She had always been there for him, always. Now it was time to return the favour. Time to make good on his promise and help piece back to together the girl he was slowly falling in love with. He knew that they were both broken, but he also knew that together they could fix each other. She had promised that she would find him again. And she did.

**TBC**

**A/N**

**Please keep the reviews coming. Even if it is only a few words it really helps. Thanks guys.**


	4. Chapter 4

I Shall Find You Again My Friend

**Chapter Four**

Xx

Esme woke suddenly in an unfamiliar bed. She looked around in confusion before the events of the yesterday flooded her thoughts.

A small smile crossed her features as she recognised the wall of warmth besides her as none other than Dean Winchester.

A small whimper escaped from him and Esme realised what had woken her. She watched as Dean tossed and turned in the grip of a nightmare. Her body automatically reacted and she leaned forward and cupped his cheek with her hand. He leaned into the touch with a silent whimper.

"Dean," she whispered, "Dean, Dean, come on babe your safe, your safe."

Dean shot up with a muffled scream. He turned around and looked at Esme, unshed tears glistened in his eyes. She silently wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head down to lean on her shoulder. She held him tight and gently clamed him down.

He lay back down with laboured breath's opening up his arms for her. Esmerale curled up around him leaning her head on his chest.

They lay together in silence comforting each other by simply letting the other know they were there. Dean placed a kiss to the crown of her head before sleep claimed them.

Xx

Morning came far too soon for the sleeping couple. The bustle from the bar and the small slip of sunlight greeted their waking senses.

Dean looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms, "morning."

Esme nuzzled his shoulder, "mmmhh."

"So, um where exactly do we stand?" Dean stammered,

Esme looked up at him, blue/grey eyes meeting green, "I don't know."

They lay in silence for awhile before Dean broke the harsh quiet, "stay with me."

Esme smiled against his chest, "I wouldn't dream of leaving."

She rolled onto him straddling his hips before leaning down to kiss him. But something caught her eye and caused her to halt.

Slowly she leaned down and traced her lips over the scar branded on the left side of his chest. An intricate design marred his tanned skin. To any observer it would seem almost strangely beautiful, but she knew the truth, she knew the horrible truth; it was his only remaining scar from Hell, it was his constant painful reminder.

The design matched the one residing on her wrist as well as the wrists of countless demons and souls residing in Hell and elsewhere. It was a reminder of what he did, of what he became in those final ten years; it was his torturer's brand.

Xx

The pair stopped besides the door leading to the bar of the Roadhouse. Dean looked down at Esme and saw something closely mirroring fear and uncertainty in her piercing gaze.

"Hey, hey look at me," Dean gently lifted her chin forcing her to look up at him, "what you are, your past, it doesn't matter now. You helped me more than anyone could ever know or ever hope to understand. You're with me now, it'll all be okay; it's my turn to keep you safe. We have been through hell together, literally. I won't let anyone harm you okay. Trust me."

Esme gave a small nod and Dean leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Plus," he laughed, "I think Sammy willl love you. He's been begging me to open up about Hell and talk about my _feelings_. He'll probably think your arrival will help me. Trust me he will love you, and the others; they're family, and your family now too."

He gave her another kiss, this one more passionate then the last, before wrapping his arm securely around her waist. She leaned into his side and let him lead her into the bar.


	5. Chapter 5

I Shall Find You Again My Friend

**A/N  
ahhhh I'm sooo soo soo sorry for the delay but everything has been crazy school-wise, Any one who knows about the English education system knows how annoying GCSE's can be. And I had music composition to finish and Final performance for my GCSE drama and everything has been ahhhh. Any who sorry for that rant I will try to update again soon to make up for it. Onwards….**

**Chapter Five**

Xx

The Winchester's had been staying at the Roadhouse for three days now. Things were still tense and the others were still wary of Esmerale. But honestly you couldn't blame them.

Dean had just come back from Hell and had later met up with someone he met down there, welcome her back into his life, in all sense of the matter (intimate and otherwise). She also seemed to know anything and everything about them and Dean and on top of everything she isn't even fully human.

Many times Esme had tried to convince Dean that it would be best if she just left, but every time he shut her down with a promise that they would come around, they just need time.

True to his word, by the third day Winchester's, Singer, and Harvelle's alike warmed up to the Nephilium and welcomed her as one of their own

Xxx

Esme walked down the stairs and into the bar, rubbing sleep out of her crystal blue eyes.

She found Bobby and Ellen sitting at the bar, each nursing a cup 'o joe. Ash was where he was left last night; passed out on the pool table.

"Hey," she greeted them,

The two older hunters looked up and offered morning greetings of their own.

"Coffee?" Ellen pushed a mug towards her as she took her seat next to Bobby again.

"Mmmmm, thanks,"

"Where's Dean?" Bobby asked gruffly.

Esme smiled tiredly, "asleep on the floor,"

"The floor?" Ellen asked amusement clear on her face,

"Yep," Esme laughed, "fell of the bed last night, didn't wake up, so I left him there."

Bobby and Ellen soon joined Esme's laughter.

Xxx

The laughter in the Roadhouse died down leaving the trio in a comfortable silence.

Bobby looked up at Ellen, a silent conversation passed between their eyes. Ellen gave a small nod and in response, Bobby cleared his throat and turned his gaze towards Esme.

The Nephilium looked up, peering over the cup of coffee she had been nursing, "yes."

The old hunter cleared his throat again before he said, "so umm, I've been meaning to talk to you about something that's been… bothering me, well us."

"Go on," Esme said quirking one eyebrow,

"Well ever since Cas showed up, we got quite a few angel's showing up so we started angel proofing stuff. So my question to you is, if you are an Angel-Nephilium, or whatever then how did you get past the angel wards?"

Esme sighed pushing the cup away, "It's complicated," she began looking up to meet the two hunters gaze,

"There's this kind of, ritual I guess. Only Archangels and Nephilium can do it; Archangels because they're powerful enough, and Nephilium because we're only part angel. An angel's power comes form their grace, you can think of it like their essence. The ritual allows us to transfer our grace to a human. When I met Dean in Hell he was so strong, simply refusing to give in, but after awhile he started to break down. Dean was so strong it was unbelievable. I mean I've seen what Dean's been through in his life, things no kid should ever have to put up with. Things that still haunt his to this day and I couldn't let him suffer any longer then he needed to.

So when I head Uncle Cas was coming I knew I had to help in now, while I still had the chance. So I gave him my grace. It would protect him; allow him to keep his sanity. He would still feel pain but at least he could manage it. If anyone can manage pain, it's him. The path out of Hell is painful, it's hard, even more so than actually being in Hell. My grace eased the pain; it made it only somewhat unbearable. It also helped me, I guess; an Angel in Hell, let's just say it isn't pretty. I haven't taken it back yet. Dean still needs time to heal, my grace helps to heal the mental wounds. Helps with the nightmares and mental damage that he received in Hell, and those that have been with him since childhood. So that's basically why I can get past the angel wards, what makes me an angel, even part angel, is currently residing in Dean."

Xxxx

**A/N**

**This was basically a filler with information needed for later. Next chapter will tell more about what Esme knows about Dean's past.**

**I'm a total Dean girl and angst!Dean is great for me, so his childhood is going to be less then perfect**

**Review!**


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